Victorians took pride in their culture and yes, they loved being ‘prudes’. They had many set of rules and regulations to lead a proper ‘Victorian’ way of life which was basically governed by stiffness and weirdness. The Victorian era was considered golden as it had a prim queen who set high standards of moralities for all. The Victorian era was also an age where sex and anything related to it was considered taboo. In-fact, Victorians were freakish as far as sex was concerned. They were obsessed with it in their minds, but didn’t have the guts to speak about it publicly. Today, we will discuss about the 18 most weird Victorian sex tips that are really worth a laugh. Enjoy!
1. Bone your husband as seldom as possible
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Victorian sex was anything but passionate. And to make matters worse, an instruction book appeared in 1894 that spelled gloom for couples. The crux of the topic was how to have sex with your hubby as little as possible. The book was written by Ruth Smythers and was basically published for the young Victorian wife. It was named ‘Instruction and advice for the young bride on the Conduct and Procedure of the Intimate and Personal Relationships of the Marriage State for the Greater Spiritual Sanctity of this Blessed Sacrament and the Glory of God’.
The authoress practically did everything to ruin the beginnings of a successful marriage that is usually based on physical intimacy. In her book, she gave a very weird tip to all the lovely young brides. The tip was to give only a small doze of sex, and it had to be given grudgingly. Her belief was that if a wife offered sex to her husband too often, then her marriage would automatically become a game of lust and will cease to remain sacred.
She went on further by advising women to use a number of excuses for avoiding sex with their husbands, and that included faking illnesses like headache, inciting arguments and engaging in constant nagging. According to her, all these were tricks to turn off husbands. But, a woman had to start with these tricks once the husband was in mood.
2. A rape can never result in an offspring
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This, perhaps is one of the weirdest Victorian sex tips ever to have been written or spoken about. And the irony of the matter is that some people like Todd Akin actually believed in this weird tip. The Missouri Senate candidate and a Republican – Todd Akin, in 2012 made a remark that a rape couldn’t make a woman pregnant because her uterus has ways to shut itself down in such situations. This notion of his is pretty absurd, but, we are sure he must have read the sex book by Eugene Becklard, a French physiologist in which he has written about many sex tips, ranging from stupid to downright appalling.
3. Stay away from masturbation for staying pretty and sane
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The Victorians were really crazy when it came to matters of the libido. They were not merely tight lipped about the whole mating game ritual, but also spread a lot of rumors around. One such weird rumor or a sex tip given by most Victorian doctors to men was to abstain from masturbation if they wanted to stay pretty and sane. The doctor who can be credited for promoting such a nonsensical tip was Eugene Becklard who, in 1845, published a self help guide that referred to masturbation as a solitary vice that led to a stunted growth of organs in men. It also stopped the development of various functions in the body and resulted in the drying up of the male organ.
Becklard went on to explain the positive results that happened when a man stopped masturbating. According to him, a person who abstained from this solitary vice had better skin that was free of any wrinkles and fine lines. This was not all. The doctor also wrote how masturbation made a man impotent.
4. Tire the kids to prevent them from masturbating
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By now, you must have gotten accustomed to how sex in Victorian era may have been, thanks to their ‘visionary physicians and doctors’ who spread weird tips and ideas about matters related with sex. If the above tips were not sufficient, these people went on further so as to dissuade people from enjoying sexual relations.
To add a new feather to the ‘league of extraordinary’ gentlemen and women, we have included another name – Henry Hanchett, who wrote the book named ‘Sexual Health: A Plain and Practical Guide for the People on All Matters Concerning the Organs of Reproduction in Both Sexes and All Ages’. In this book, he wrote about how parents could discourage their children from masturbating. He advised parents to make their kids run throughout the day or engage them in wild play so that they would be too tired and worn out in the night to indulge in the ‘solitary vice’. Hanchett also believed that it was only the deranged woman that would be tempted to indulge in this vice and not the female children as he had an opinion they had low sex drive.
5. Orgasm determines a child’s temperament
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Such weird and crazy were certain sex tips that we, the modern day humans can never understand why these originated in the first place. Another stupid tip coming from Eugene Becklard is based on the topic of orgasms. He said that an offspring generally tuned out more like the person who orgasmed during intercourse. A child was said to possess the same temperament as the person who experienced an orgasm while making love.
Also Read: History of Sex Toys
6. Eat bland food to prevent masturbation
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We all know the name of the person who brought a ‘cereal revolution’, and this gentleman’s name was J.H. Kellogg. He created the famous Kellogg Brand that gave birth to Kellogg’s Cornflakes, a cereal we have all grown up eating. But, do you know why he created his brand of bland food? Well, the main aim was to make men steer clear of the greatest vice ever to have existed in the Victorian society – the vice called masturbation. He believed that eating bland and non spicy food could prevent masturbation in men as these foods crushed the appetite for sex. He encouraged men to eat foods that were devoid of pepper, mustard, and this included other things as well like beer, wine and tobacco. This Victorian age sex tip is without a doubt – CRAZY!!